big sister blog

if you won’t give it to yourself, then take it from me 🙂

one of the hardest things for anyone to do nowadays is give themselves grace. it’s easy to think negatively, but never do we think about why it’s so hard to just give ourselves grace. for our flaws, for our accomplishments, for mistakes we’ve made, for the current state we’re in. i think the reason for this is because in our mind, the negative things are more significant and therefore we tend to them first, whereas positive things are smaller and often overlooked. 

for example, it is genuinely so overlooked how much power there is in being resilient. every single person reading this is resilient, probably more than you know. if you really sit and think about it, you’ll realize just how much you are. you’ve gotten through every single day with grace, both the best and the worst ones. the fact that you got through every single one of those “worst days,” even the unbearable ones that you thought you would never make it out of, gives you an immense amount of power. and you didn’t just get through them, you also accomplished many things while doing so: getting through school, securing jobs, being a good role model to your siblings, giving thoughtful advice to friends, playing sports, taking care of your pets, helping your grandparents, etc. the thought of this today was one that, alone, made me feel very fulfilled and strong. one moment you’re wondering how on earth you’ll ever be able to get through, and before you know it, you’re looking back on that moment and silently patting yourself on the back for getting through it. it’s a shame that there’s so many people who truly believe there’s no way out and if you’re one of them, i hope this post gives you some hope.

the past month has been super chaotic for pretty much everyone i know. i won’t elaborate, but what i will say is: lots of existential crises, crying, anxiety attacks, and worrying about the future. i’ve been blaming the astrology because it has been insane. that being said, the timing of this post couldn’t be better, since yesterday’s full moon lunar eclipse in pisces was a symbol of hope for the end of this chaos and, according to cosmopolitan, a universal message for every sign to “reminisce about how much you’ve grown.” no, this isn’t me trying to persuade you into believing astrology, but i just thought it was crazy how the messages aligned.

around this time last year i experienced one of the lowest points of my life that i will never forget. i’ve never experienced such distinct, horrible feelings and emotions to which just the mere thought immediately brings them back. let me just say that despite this being an extremely unfortunate time, it has become a core memory that has taught me many valuable lessons that i will keep with me for the rest of my life. the point is, though it does fill me with sadness to think about, it shows me how far i’ve come since then. almost a year ago, i thought i’d never be able to think about the situation without immediately developing crippling anxiety and spiraling, but now, it’s almost as if i am completely detached from it. thinking about it in depth, it’s crazy to think how humans are capable of this. to have such strong feelings and be able to completely heal and move on from them as time goes on. 

this is just one situation and i have been extremely fortunate to have lived a life with minimal happenings like it, but my friends and family are some of the most resilient people i know who i have been so lucky to look up to and be inspired by. ariana grande is also someone who comes to mind, as she has been dealt life’s truest horrors and continues to live every day as gracefully as it could get. i mean just listen to eternal sunshine of a spotless mind and look at her in wicked – hello??? reflecting on my own experiences and watching others get through theirs gives me so much hope and motivates me to truly take advantage of every day to the fullest. 

this doesn’t just apply to significant, traumatic situations, but to every single situation where you think to yourself: how am i going to get through this. i think this probably more than i should and i’m sure you do, too. whether it’s a rough morning before work, a dreaded night out with friends, an exam you didn’t prepare well for, etc., you deserve to give yourself grace for doing hard things. these are hard things, and you get through them, every. single. time. not every situation is going to be easy, and not every situation is going to be life altering, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be proud of yourself for getting through it. the fact that you continue to get out of bed every morning and get a move on with your life says enough about your resilience. and the fact that you know you’re able to get through even the worst of it means you shouldn’t have to worry so much about whether you will again, or whether things will work out. trust that things are always working out in your favor whether you like them or not !!!

wake up every day and do the best you can to get through it with grace. remind yourself how strong you are for having gotten through even the worst days, especially on days that aren’t so great. life isn’t perfect, but all you could do is keep moving forward and do whatever you have to in order to achieve the life you want to live. but this will only become easier and more enjoyable once you learn to give yourself grace for doing so, instead of nitpicking every little negative and beating yourself up for things that are out of your control. lastly, a friendly reminder that the one thing that we will always have control of is ourselves and our mindset, which means the way we think of even the worst situations will have a significant positive effect on how we deal with them and, ultimately, our quality of life afterwards.