big sister blog

in contrast to other posts, this one is for everyone. so, if you’re going to read any, you should prooobably read this one 😆

recently, instead of going to the bar on the 4th, i stayed at my family’s condo with two of my best friends and my parents. it was a hard decision to make and i’ll admit, it was mostly because we were deathly hungover. i’d been waiting for this night for awhile, so i was upset about going too hard the night before. but, like always, things happen for a reason and i couldn’t be happier that they worked out the way they did.

after an entire day of contemplating driving two hours north to endure another crazy night of binge drinking, my friends and i decided it was best to stay put and have a relaxing holiday. i noticed the anxiety my mom was continuously trying to conceal as we spent the day going back and forth with our decision. then the big sigh of relief that came over her when we made the final decision. thankfully, it fell on a thursday, so we still had the whole weekend ahead of us to “redeem ourselves.” but still, we were upset about having chronic fomo.

despite a whole day of frustration and contemplating, i would have never guessed what that night would bring. we put on our comfiest clothes, got mcdonalds for dinner, and got my favorite ice cream in wildwood to wash it down. we laughed at stupid occurrences and inside jokes until our stomachs hurt and tears filled our eyes. we came back just in time for the start of the fireworks show, which we watched while sitting on the balcony of my family’s condo that overlooks the beach, giving us front row seats.

as i was sitting and watching the fireworks, i couldn’t help but think. my first thought was that, despite an overwhelming amount of social media posts, there’s little to no point in taking photos or videos of firework shows. maybe to sprinkle some patriotism on your feed, but that’s about it. but really, who goes out of their way to research “fireworks” on google to look at in their free time? or to look at before they attend a show, like we do with photos of food before going to new restaurants. the point of fireworks is to see them in person, to watch them fully and wholeheartedly with no distractions. and that’s exactly what we all did that night, give or take a few seconds of snapping a photo for our stories.

oddly enough, all of my friends were texting about how emotional the fireworks they respectively watched were making them. texts like “why am i tearing up right now” flooded my phone, and we were all able to relate to one another without understanding why that was. i personally have never felt this way or thought much of fireworks in general, so i was confused as well.

my mom also told us that the firework show we were watching most likely cost around $250,000. i don’t know about any of you, but never for a second would i think fireworks costed more than… maybe $500? it takes two seconds to light them and your typical show is maybe around 20 minutes. but either way, this fact provided lots of insight and perspective. people, like my dad, will go out of their way to drive hours and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on fireworks for a few minutes one night a year. companies also put aside huge budgets for this. it blew my mind.

but obviously, it’s for a reason. for this one day, we all make it a point to put down our phones and watch the beauty of a firework show. we watch with loved ones and, to some extent, think about how lucky we are to experience something as beautiful as fireworks. how lucky we are to celebrate the birth of a nation that allows us to be free and able to take advantage of being alive. to truly enjoy being alive. we take a few photos to try and capture the beauty, but nothing compares to being fully absorbed, watching with our raw eyeballs.

so, as i watched the fireworks show this year, sitting in my comfy clothes, alongside people i love the most, i was overwhelmed with gratitude to the point where uncontrollable tears quietly streamed down my face. no matter what problems we all have going on, which are inevitable, the simple privilege of being alive and able to experience things like fireworks is something that is often overlooked. we all dwell on problems that seem like they’re going to end our existence, but in reality are minuscule compared to the grand scheme of things.

speaking of time, we have a very limited amount of it to experience these beautiful things that allow us to feel those intense, positive emotions. we also have complete power over our own lives. therefore, there’s absolutely no reason why a second of our time should be wasted complaining and dwelling on things that aren’t making us happy and/or serving our lives any good. don’t get me wrong, not everything is going to make us happy all the time, but you have the power to 1.) change the situation and make it better and 2.) change your mindset about the situation to learn and grow from it.

it truly pains me to see people waste time, whether its peers that are around the same age as me (aka our prime) or older people who have clearly been miserable their whole lives. no matter what age, there’s simply no excuse to living this way. life is hard, but we must do everything we can to make it as beautiful as we can. there’s beauty in pain, it only makes us stronger (cliché i know but when you think of it literally, its quite true)!! without it, we’d be bored and stuck in the same spot, which would probably be more painful.

we come across people who we love to watch the fireworks and sunsets with, and we also come across people who are meant to cause pain in order for us to grow. if something or someone is constantly causing you pain, it’s for a reason and it’s up to you and only you to change your situation, so that the pain lasts for as little time as possible. we’re not meant to experience pain for long periods of time, because we’re meant to spend life experiencing positive emotions that allow us to truly make the most of it. but either way, the pain is inevitable and just like the title suggests, everything is beautiful when you look at it with love. find ways to love every single part of your life, even the painful parts. it’s alllll leading to something perfect and amazing, but you must let it do so and not try to force anything that isn’t meant to be there (aka causing pain and hindering growth)!!!

the feeling i had while watching the fireworks, one of love, gratitude and warmness in my heart was one i’d love to feel constantly. that one where you get a coffee that is just the right color. or when you arrive at the beach and finally get to sit down. how about when you get into bed after taking an “everything shower” and putting your best pjs on? when you’re finally done with work on a friday? that feeling of pure bliss is unmatched and can be achieved much more often if you look at more things with love and gratitude. it’s the little things you’d least expect, or the things you don’t think you can muster up a little love for. i’ll give you some examples below, but the world is your oyster 🙂

there truly is love in everything, as long as you make the effort to find it, instead of dwelling in misery. life goes by so fast and before you know it, you will have spent your prime years dwelling over that minuscule thing that no longer matters in the slightest. you know what they say, if it won’t matter in 5 years, it doesn’t matter now 🙂 also, don’t you wanna look back on beautiful things, amazing memories with amazing people? live with the intention of having a plethora of stories to tell your family about. you’ll be glad you did when their eyes are glued to you blissfully thinking back on the good ol’ days and talking about your bizarre nights out and spontaneous trips with your kids’ godparents, aunts, and uncles.

there are billions of people in the world, please live with the intention of getting to know more people. you really never know where one person will lead you. if one person isn’t adding to your life and making you a better person, there are billions more out there that will. always remember, misery loves company, so take note of the existing peoples’ intentions and keep seeking out more that add to your life!! be the person that is constantly improving peoples’ lives and being a positive light, no matter what life throws at you. when you are that person, god and the universe will always reward you with the most amazing things possible, trust ❤

where to find love unexpectedly

1. when you’re on your hot girl walk or at the gym, think about how lucky you are to have two, functioning legs that get you around and a healthy body that allows you to sweat and get that work in. The opportunity to wind down and escape the world for about an hour with your headphones blasting your favorite music.
2. when you’re going grocery shopping by yourself, immerse yourself in every aisle and think about how lucky you are to have the ability to buy the things you actually like to eat and have free range to browse at your own pace. 
3. when you’re consumed in a book that you genuinely enjoy, think of how lucky you are to learn new, tiny things (whether that be new words, self help, or new things to look for in the world) with the simple turn of a page.
4. when you’re soaking in a scenic route of your drive with a super vibey song playing and the windows down, the wind hitting your face at the perfect temperature, think of how lucky you are to have the smarts to get your license and a vehicle that gets you to the places that make life better. 
5. helping someone (your grandparents, parents, a stranger, etc.) with literally anything. Please go out of your way to do this, you’ll feel much better about yourself I promise. Put in the effort to notice when people are struggling or to just find simple ways make people’s lives easier. Whether it’s opening the door, giving thoughtful advice, carrying things, teaching grandma how to use her phone, or keeping the house clean while mom is not there to do it. Be grateful that you have the ability to have a positive effect on other people and to be a brighter light in the world (this was a major force of BSB that keeps me super fulfilled and content).
6. when you experience something not so blissful, whether it’s the death of a loved one, not getting a job you wanted, or someone ghosting you unexpectedly, find ways to learn and grow from it. Really think of why the situation was added to your book of life: to get higher standards, to learn the value of quality time, to learn the importance of being better prepared. This is how you prevent being hurt from the same situations and grow. Just being able to grow is a privilege and something to feel lucky about!