big sister blog

when i committed to syracuse, i was the most naive incoming freshman of all time. i knew nothing other than the fact that our mascot is a fruit, our colors are blue and orange, and our communications school is one of the best. besides for this, my little research presented to me that the school had lots of school spirit and a good social life, which were the only other aspects i was looking for in a school. 

when i got there, i quickly realized how important joining greek life was. the common conception was that if you didn’t join, you’d be considered a “geed,” or in other words, an outcast. therefore, although i was doubtful (i always said i would never be a sorority girl), i felt pressured by the masses to go through sorority recruitment. 

not only was i super anxious about the idea of rushing, but we were in the middle of peak covid-19 during my freshman year. this meant that the entire process would be online. i am someone who feels much more comfortable talking to people face-to-face, so the thought of recording a video of myself for the first round of recruitment was absolutely daunting to me. 

i probably recorded myself at least 50 times. i got my hair blown out, did a whole face of makeup, and put on a sweater with stars all over it, thinking it would look cool. i said everything i thought the girls would want to hear. long story short, i tried wayyyyy too hard and it backfired, or so i thought. after round 1, we got our houses back and, lets just say, i didn’t get too many back. i remained hopeful, as i still had two houses that i wanted. 

i had genuine conversations with every girl i spoke to. one house in particular continued to stand out to me, but it was a house that was often looked down upon because of stereotypes that surrounded it. even though i loved the girls i talked to every round from this house, the stereotypes lived in my head rent free and i continued dropping the house. nevertheless, i kept on getting the house back. 

towards the end of the process, i had the two houses i originally wanted, so i was happy. but, when preference round came (this is when you have 2 houses left), both of those houses were not on the list. instead, it was the house i kept dropping and another one i was not interested in. 

i was devastated. my family was so concerned for me, while my roommate awkwardly comforted me. it was terrible and i wanted to drop the process immediately. but after some convincing by my roommate, family, and rho gamma (an unbiased mentor that guides you throughout the process), i decided to stick it out. i thought: why not? if anything, i can drop the process and try again next year. 

during that round, i was matched with a girl i previously spoke to from the house i kept dropping. she immediately noticed i was upset and told me to lay everything out on her, so i did. that conversation was one of the most genuine ones i’ve ever had to this day. recruitment is supposed to be about persuading girls to pick your house. but this didn’t feel like mere persuasion, it felt like i knew her for years and that she was truly looking out for my best interests. she single-handedly made me pick that house, despite all of the doubts i had. 

after recruitment came the new member process. i was miserable. i felt like an outcast and envied my friends who were thrilled with the houses they got. shortly after was big-little dating, where we chose our “big sister.” though i was very close to dropping the process again, this dating process led me to choosing my “big,” who was also one of the girls i spoke to and loved during recruitment. once again, i chose to stay. 

i wasn’t the happiest new member, but something made me choose to continue sticking it out. i still felt like an outcast, and when it came to new members “randomly” being selected to live in the sorority house, i was 99% certain i was not going to get picked. i even made living arrangements with my friends who were not living in houses. 

on easter, i received a text saying that i was chosen to live in the house. i don’t think i’ve ever been more taken aback in my life. but, for some strange reason, i was happy. i knew there was a reason that i was chosen, so i accepted, even though i knew that i wasn’t even remotely close to any of the other girls who were chosen. 

when i moved in, i was extremely anxious. my mom sensed this and i felt how bad it hurt her to leave me there. it was obvious that i was an outcast, everyone was laughing and making plans for that night and i stayed mute and glued to my bed. it was quite brutal, but i became increasingly acclimated with my roommates and each day after became better and better. 

i also went out of my way to become friends with the one other girl who i sensed was an outcast in the house, thalia. she is one of my best friends to this day and a big reason why i’m so grateful that everything happened the way it did. we became attached at the hip and the entire house knew us as being two peas in a pod. but that doesn’t mean we didn’t get close with the rest our roommates. everyone loved us, we were so different, yet so similar to them. 

the house i picked ended up being the one that most aligned with my personality, which was exactly what i needed. i always knew that i wasn’t the stereotypical sorority girl, and this house is centered around people exactly like that. we even preached the idea that we were more like a frat house than a sorority house. we stressed to new members that we prioritize genuine relationships, instead of putting on fronts for social media. i needed those genuine relationships more than ever my freshman year, and that’s what i got. 

not only did i become best friends with thalia, but i became very close with my roommates, brooke, sam, and syd, along with the rest of the 25 girls living in the house. thalia also introduced me to chiara, someone she knew prior to recruitment and was also in our class, but did not live in our house. the three of us ended up being roommates our junior year and are 3 peas in a pod to this day. i lived with chiara during my senior year, as well. 

during my first year of recruiting new members, i convinced vic, who went through the same situation as me, to choose our house. she trusted me when i said that it was one of the best decisions i’ve ever made and chose our house instead of dropping the process. because of sharing that story, we became best friends and she became the fourth pea in our pod. 

older girls that i was always intimidated by and who i thought would never look my way became my best friends. my “fam” grew significantly when i found my twin “littles,” courtney and cece, who i absolutely adore, along with their littles (my grandchildren), and as of recently, their littles (my great grandchildren, i’m an old lady now). i will never stop expressing immense gratitude for the house i was chosen by and the relationships i’ve created by choosing it back. 

i also believe that if it wasn’t for us being in different houses, my freshman year friends and i would not have stayed as close as we are to this day. being in different houses and making new friends allowed for a deeper appreciation for our original friend group, which we talk about to this day. shoutout jessie, aaron (who is not in greek life but is an honorable member), joanie, sofia, and sophie 🙂 

this story has shown me the importance of staying true to yourself and saying yes to everything. even if you’re intimidated, scared, or anxious, you truly never know what an opportunity can lead to. also, trying to be someone you’re not will do nothing but hurt you (ironic in this situation, i know, but you get the point). things really do happen for a reason. i wouldn’t have guessed for a second that choosing a house that i did not want and agreeing to live in a house with 30 girls i did not know would lead to finding some of my best friends, people i can count on no matter what and who i am confident will be in my wedding (yes, the corny line that is so often used throughout recruitment is true). being open-minded is such an important trait to have and has guided me through every experience since then.

so, if you’re in a similar situation, i say go for it. the worst that can happen is that you drop the process, but i would even go a step further and advise not doing that. if you told me in high school that i would later become a sorority girl who lived in her sorority house during her sophomore year of college, i would have laughed and said yeah okay. i even went on to be the pr chair, managing all of our house’s social media accounts! you truly never know what life has in store for you. 

lastly, i learned to do what your gut feels is right and to not feel pressured to follow the crowd. as the old saying goes, just because your friend jumps off a bridge doesn’t mean you follow. same goes for this, and because i didn’t jump, i ended up forming genuine relationships that will last me a lifetime. i truly could not see myself in any other house and wouldn’t have done it any other way.